Talking to my teenage daughter sometimes is a lot like talking to a customer service agent. The approach must be thought out and planned meticulously or I will not get an audience let alone a conversation. Now, I'm not talking about parent/child conversations. The kind where you wield your authority and threaten to turn off the cell phone if your not answered. I'm talking about the Father/Daughter conversation where you just want to know how they are, how they feel, or what's new in their personal life. Somehow these conversations have a way of derailing into oblivion and you're left wondering what the hell just happened?
As my oldest gets older I've learned that I am dealing with someone who has her own agenda, someone who doesn't think I'm the most awesome man on the planet and doesn't rank me in the top 5 people she wants to talk to. I get those days here and there but not like when she was little. So it's all about understanding how important her personal life is to her and approaching her with the utmost care, because trust me, if the wrong thing comes out of your mouth at the wrong time with the wrong tone it's fast train to Emotionalville. "How was your day?" Can suddenly supernova into tears right before your eyes.
Several weeks ago I had a bad experience on the phone with a less then helpful Customer Service again, you know the kind that you know aren't going to help you but you take your chances anyway? You're thinking "Am I going to be okay here? Is this person really going to help me or is she tweeting her Friends on what a dumbass she has on the line?" It's a lot like my teenage daughter, I'm not always certain I'm even getting through but I take my chances anyway.
There's two ways of taking on a customer service agent:
1. You give them everything they want and pray they give you what you want in return. Keep your tone steady, your demeanor pleasant and prepare to repeat yourself a few dozen times. Transfer me? You bet. Transfer me again? Of course!! I should have known this was the wrong department, "Thank you kind sir for your help. I really should repeat my address and last four digits of my SSN at least 10 times a day in case I forget them."
2. You go off the deep end and demand the manager. Prepare for the ultimate show down in hold times and your ability to out last the enemy. Asking for the manager in the event you are not getting help could cost you the entire afternoon if not the call itself. Beware of the manager threat, you must be prepared to be shut down. And we all know the manager is the dude sitting next her tweeting her back about your awesome ability to be a dumbass. You stand no chance.
There are two ways to talk to your teenage daughter:
1. You give them everything they want and expect nothing in return. You can approach her in one of many ways to ask her how she is but in the end do not expect to get too much info out of her and for God's sake do not keep pressing if you don't. The key to it is to just know that she loves you and she needs you she's just going through the equivalent of a mid life crisis: School, college, friends, hormones, social life, it's all raging at once. And she isn't you, that's most important thing to remember. She cannot take on what you can take on nor can she shrug off what you can shrug off, she's too young to know that all these emotions will calm and that her BFF won't be her BFF in high school, she get a new friend and probably a new acronym by then. Life changes to fast for them to handle it all. And we all know the acronyms will never end, LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, LOTFRMAOL.......you get the point.
Option #2: That's it, there's no second option. You think a Customer Service agent will shut you down, press option 2 with a teenager and you will send them into a flurry of epic proportions and you'll be standing wondering what you said wrong. I've been down the option 2 road many times, the only saving grace is that she'll forget and so will you and you will both live to communicate another day.
CTPZ4YA8UD8N
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